For the most part, this story is well structured and flows smoothly from scene to scene. I liked that certain areas had names and those names seemed color coded.
Bug-y Type Stuff:
On ‘Doubtful Repentant Ending’ and ‘Cosmic Murder Ending’ the back button doesn’t take you back, it just reloads the page.
I got a blank page. It’s on Chamber of Divine Recurrence when you pick “descend into the chasm and tempt fate.” But I thought I’d clicked on that in another play through and it gave me an ending?
Is ‘Ascend into the Light’ the ‘true’ ending? If so I have no idea what the game is really about. Futile persistence? I like the ‘Autonomous Heretic Ending’ best. I would have loved to have had the option to forsake Ambrose at a later point in the journey too, but that’s probably not the type of story you’re going for?
If Ascend isn’t the true ending I got stuck in a loop. I’m not sure where it actually started, but from the Swamps it goes Sleep (or bad ending) > Walk (only option) > Birth… (or blank page) > Forget (only option) > Both decide (only option) > Drop Down (or bad ending) > Fall (only option)
Write-y Type Stuff:
There are a lot of areas where the words just don’t flow right. This might seem nitpicky, but it kept throwing me out of the story. Do you do an edit pass where you read your work out loud? I really like using text-to-speech to read my work back to me. It doesn’t get the inflections, but it catches where my brain fills in what I think I wrote and tells me what I actually put down on the page.
I’m not sure where you are with the story, if you’re not done with the first draft ignore everything I just said until it’s done. I wish I could remember who said it, but a famous writer once said that even Hugo winners write sucky first drafts, so please don’t let this discourage you.